so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
