the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize