i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
