I didn't shave. On purpose
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
