These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
