ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
