Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
