God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
