woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
