I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize