Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Everyone says I win the strip club
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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