I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
