So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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