i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
