I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
