Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
