In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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