just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
