which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
