either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
