My friends, they love my intelligence
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
