p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
