she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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