found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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