fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
