i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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