Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
