Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm too high and old for this...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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