Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
