There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
