I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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