1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
