Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
