I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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