Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can you bring me the toilet please
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
