The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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