soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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