i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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