You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
did i just pee glitter
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
