If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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