Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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