You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
