ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
