We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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