i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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