I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
