i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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