is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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