I need help removing her.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
