butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
