Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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