Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
