Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
