with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
