I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Fuck appropriateness.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
