I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
