And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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