There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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