so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
