Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize