I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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