VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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