Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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