yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
